Drip Drip Drip

I haven't been posting as often as I might, and I haven't been sticking to things as well as I might, but I am feeling pleased because I feel like I am making progress. The thing is, in an ideal world, I will have done my thinking, make all the changes I want to make, and away I will go. But it isn't an ideal world, and while I would take perfect if I thought I could get it, I think it is healthier to aim for progress instead. Over the past 15 years, I have started over more times than I can remember. From time to time I will come across a food diary that was started and abandoned after a week or so, from years ago. But since I started this blog, since I rejoined weightwatchers 12 weeks ago, rather than being years or months between falling off the wagon and getting on again, it is weeks. It is like the slow dripping of a tap is gradually becoming the faster pitter patter of raindrops, and I hope that soon it will become a flow and a flood. I feel optimistic. It is a good way to feel. At the same time, I am trying to surround myself with inspiration. I have been unfaithful to Weightwatchers Magazine, and also bought Rosemary Conley and Slimming World this month. The programmes are not interchangeable, but you aren't going to find anything heavily calorific in any of them, and some of the stories are really inspirational. I am following a few blogs, and also reading email newsletters like my favourite Mind Body Green, and Our Lady of Weightloss. One particular post I found inspirational is this one: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8225/life-with-chronic-illness-is-today-the-day-i-give-up.html It made me think - if, heaven forbid, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, what wouldn't I do to try and be well again. But why would you wait? Why wouldn't you do everything you can do to be well now, rather than wait to be ill? But at the same time, I am aware that it is easier to think and say things than do them. I have been continuing my experiments with foods that I used to dislike, or have not tried before, and my latest discovery is beetroot. Since trying the Jamie Oliver beet salad I have bought some beets, and been having them in my morning juice. My favourite juice of the week has been a teaspoon of wheatgrass powder, blended with a juiced apple, half a beet, a quarter of lemon, a blood orange and some raspberries. A gorgeous deep ruby red colour, and delicious too! There are improvements I still want and need to make, but I am pleased with the changes that are staying with me so far, the things that are becoming my new 'normal'. My hot water and lemon juice that I start the day with, followed by my fresh juice or smoothie and a multivitamin. Dinners are becoming more and more home cooked from scratch, with a careful eye on the portion control. As far as the non-food related things go, I had a Dermalogica facial at the weekend which included lots of massage and was heavenly. I bought a little tub of Daily Microfoliant which I have used before, and was really impressed with. I also got my nails done afterwards, and am really enjoying having matching bright red lips and tips! It was a bit of a weekend of renovations, as I coloured my hair, which I had trimmed yesterday. Try as I might, I cannot replicate the curls my hairdresser makes using her straighteners! A few weeks ago, Boots had an offer on their Botanics range, so I got a day cream, night cream, and eye cream which I have been using religiously. They smell divine, and hopefully are doing me some good!

Marching On

So, my first weigh in since really properly starting to get my head into the right space - and I was pleased to find I had lost 4 lbs - although perhaps a little surprised. Not because I have been cheating (I haven't!) or because I haven't been putting the effort in (I have!) but because my home scales haven't shown the same loss. I am going to try hard not to get too tied to the scales - after all, weight loss is meant to be a symptom of my new healthier habits more than anything else - but at the moment I find myself hopping on the scales each morning 'just to see'. I must work on cutting that out, I think. It makes sense to go by the scales I pay to be weighed on! I have found having the mason jars of roasted veggies in my fridge has really helped with eating healthfully, and have used them in salads, a frittata, pasta, and a curry. I will definitely be doing this again next week. It has been odd this week being off of work, and in a way, although it was nice to have the time out, it was hard finding my routine broken. So for the coming week, getting back into the routines I had started and maybe even building on them is going to be my goal. I really want to see a loss on the scales on Wednesday as well, although I am feeling less confident about that. Again, not because I have been cheating or not trying, but because I lost more than I was expecting last week, I wonder if it will 'even out' over this week. So, tomorrow I will be starting with my hot water and lemon juice, and following it up with a fresh made juice with wheatgrass. I think I will try something simple like apple, celery, carrot and ginger, but in the coming weeks I want to work my way through these, too: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7956/5-delicious-green-smoothies-for-beginners.html For breakfast I am going to have an overnight oat pot - I really love making these. They are super easy - in the bottom of a bowl you put half a banana, sliced, and a handful of raspberries. (You can vary the fruit as you wish, but these are my favourites). On top of these I add 1/4 cup of porridge oats, and 1/2 tbsp chia seeds. Then I stir in 1/2 cup milk, and leave in the fridge overnight. They set into something approaching cold trifle, and I like to drizzle a little honey over before eating. I am going to carry on the good work by taking my lunch to work (a pesto pasta salad, homemade) and dinner tomorrow night is going to be a butternut squash risotto, to use up the last of my mason jar veggies. Tomorrow evening I am going to take some time out to plan some dinners and lunches for the week ahead. The routines from last week are my hot water and lemon juice followed by fresh juice or smoothie with wheatgrass start to the day. My new routines are going to be taking lunch to work, and listening to my hypnosis track in the evenings.

One Thing At A Time

I am trying really hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. It is really tempting to make huge sweeping changes, but then I know that I am less likely to be able to sustain those long term, rather than bringing in one thing at a time. When I start to think about everything I want to do, I panic slightly, and then feel overwhelmed, and then start to think I can’t do this. But I can. So I keep trying to bring myself back to the small details. On one hand, I know that drinking hot water and lemon juice, drinking a smoothie or juice with wheatgrass and taking a multivitamin isn’t enough on their own to bring about all the changes I want to make. But it is a start. And I often find that having started well, it makes me want to continue well. And even though they might not be enough on their own, they aren’t a magic wand, they are positive steps, if baby steps in the right direction. I am trying really hard to focus on progress, not perfection! This morning, I was tired, really tired. I nearly couldn’t be bothered to make my hot water and lemon juice. You know those bone-tired days, where everything is just too much effort? Today was that day. But something made me grab the nearest cup, even though it wasn’t my pretty glass cup, empty the kettle into it, and squeeze in my lemon. After that, I had some boiled eggs for breakfast. But I really couldn’t face making a juice and cleaning the juicer. Then I thought about how the last few days I have felt full right up until lunch time, having had my morning juice or smoothie, and how pleased I was I had made the effort to have my lemon water. So I put a cup of cold water into my vitamix with a banana, a teaspoon of wheatgrass powder, and a handful of frozen strawberries, and whizzed it all up. Quick and simple, and a good boost to my morning. Little victories, the keeping on keeping on. I was really excited this morning – I hopped on the scales and it showed I am in the 13s of the next stone down rather than the 1s of the stone up. I got off and got on again, and it showed me bang on the 0. So I tried again at got the 1. Again and got the 13! Clearly my scales aren’t the most accurate in the world, but it does feel good to feel like I am making progress.

Something New

In a perfect world, I would have arrived at work today with a packed lunch – but as I did not, rather than just grab anything for lunch, I resolved to find something tasty and healthy. I was in Boots and spotted Jamie Oliver’s new range of sandwiches and salads, and was drawn to Hard to Beet – ‘Beautiful beet salad with roast butternut, feta, and a balsamic dressing’. For me that struck a happy medium – the best option, a pre-planned home-made lunch wasn’t available, so I looked for the second best option. The salad delivered 383 calories, 22g of sugar (25% - how?!), 21g of fat (30%) and I recognised all the ingredients – roast butternut, roast beetroot, bulgar wheat dressed in olive oil, salt and pepper, balsamic dressing, feta cheese, spinach, red chard and rocket, and roasted pumpkin seeds, roasted sunflower seeds, roasted fennel seeds, linseed and parsley. The thing I am really pleased about is that I have always thought I HATED beetroot – and they worked really, really well in this salad. I will definitely be trying them again! Also, I have always shied away from red chard, but I really liked that too. A good lesson in portion control – it was enough to feel like I had eaten something but not so much I felt stuffed. The small amount of really sharp feta worked too.

Starting

I have very recently read the most wonderful book by Tamer Adler – An Everlasting Meal. It is so much more than a recipe book, it is almost a recipe for a whole philosophy around cooking and eating. One of the key ideas in it is that life is so much easier when you don’t have to start from scratch. If you come home from work and have no idea what to cook, the thought of it can just be overwhelming. But if you have some prepared vegetables in the fridge – perhaps some roasted butternut squash, for example – you are never starting from the absolute beginning, so it is easier. And so it is here. I am starting over. Starting again. On one hand you could look at my previous attempts to permanently adopt a more healthy way of life as failed, as I haven’t kept them up. But on the other hand, I have learnt lessons every time, and will bring those with me now. There is that old story about Thomas Edison, saying that he had not failed 1,000 times at inventing the lightbulb – he had just found 1,000 ways not to do it. There is a line from a song I love that goes ‘Our dreams have travelled far, what we have been is what we are, all that we learn this time, is carried beyond this life..’ and so it is. You live, you learn. I have a very strong perfectionist streak in me that can be useful, but it can be really challenging at times, too. The perfectionist streak in me wants to wait until I have completely understood my own thoughts about exactly what my goals are and the details of my plan for getting there. But the realist in me says that if you wait for the perfect time for anything, it might never come. It is surely better to be making progress of any kind, rather than waiting, paralyzed, for the perfect opportunity. Clearly, that this blog is 3 years old shows that I have been thinking about this for a long time. Most recently, I have been thinking about it all for at least 6 months. I am maybe half a stone lighter now than I was then…but I can’t help but wonder, if I had just started, however small, and built upon it, where would I be now? Because although one of my goals is to lose some weight, I guess my overall goal really, is to be living healthily – because if you succeed at that, all the other things will follow in its wake. How many healthy changes would I have adopted into my life by now, that would already be second nature? And even more scary, if I had kept up with this when I started this blog three years ago, would I be living my best life, having achieved my goals already? One thing is absolutely certain, I don’t want to be coming back here in three years’ time, thinking the same things again. Instead, I want to be writing from a place of success and achievement, and although I think it will always be a journey, and there will always be more to learn, I want to be putting the icing on the cake, rather than still trying to get the ingredients for my cake together! And so at last, I come to this morning. Ideally I would have all my thoughts about health and nutrition mapped out, a menu plan in hand for the week, the shopping done, exercise appointments in my diary. But I don’t. But I have still started. I woke up this morning, and resolved to be kind to myself. To strive for progress rather than perfection. And to put into practise some advice about trying to make a new habit: start with the smallest goal possible. For example, to exercise 2 minutes a day. You do that several times, then you start to build on it. If possible, you link it to a trigger – so you might have your morning glass of water, do you 2 minutes, then have your shower. That way you build it into your day, and build it up until you reach your ultimate goal, say exercising 30 minutes each week day. Having sat in bed for a few moments, resolving to be kind to myself, to make progress, do the best I can, I got up and drank a cup of warm water with lemon juice in it. There is a good article on why this is a good idea, here: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4769/Why-You-Should-Drink-Warm-Water-Lemon.html I have a small glass cup with pretty flowers on it that I bought from Ikea for 69p last year, with the intention of making it my lemon water cup. It was quick and easy to do, and it felt good knowing that I had already done something positive for myself, just in the first five minutes of the day. I followed it with a teaspoon of wheatgrass powder mixed into some orange juice, in the same cup. Now I don’t think any potion or pill or food on its own can work miracles. You can’t have one drink of wheatgrass and expect it to somehow negate a whole day or week or lifetime of eating poorly. It doesn’t work like that. But I have been really inspired reading alsfoodandfitness.com and noticed how she experiments with foods and supplements to see what she can adopt into her routines to support her health and wellbeing. Wheatgrass has a great reputation in terms of benefits, but a bad reputation in terms of flavour, hence mixing it with orange juice. It turns the orange juice deep, deep green, and has a pronounced grassy flavour and almost savoury aftertaste. I have been having it for just under a week now, and I mind the flavour less. Again, it makes me feel good that the first two things I have put into my system are good for it and will support me in my healthy quest. I will report back on how I get on with it. The only minor thing is that it is good for so many things, and I am making so many changes right now, it might be hard to pinpoint exactly what I can attribute to the wheatgrass! For breakfast this morning I made ‘Miracle Breakfast Cream’ from French Women Don’t Get Fat. I find it really delicious and filling, and ticks the box of ‘good for you’ so it was a nice choice for my first day. It is essentially yoghurt (full of calcium and protein and good bacteria) mixed with some lemon juice and honey, a teaspoon of flax oil (full of omega 3s) with ground up walnuts and half a shredded wheat also ground up stirred in. Much tastier than it sounds! I sometimes add some raspberries or similar but didn’t have any on hand today. As I had had a some orange juice with my wheatgrass, I decided that could count as my portion of fruit – one of my mini-goals is to always eat some fruit or vegetables with each meal. I think I need another post about my mini-goals – this post has gone on long enough, I think. I hope very much that my posts get shorter with time. I have to confess, this is a selfish blog, I am writing it for me. It is always lovely to know that people read my writing, and if anyone was to read this and feel similarly inspired to make positive changes in their life, that would be the best feeling ever. But for now, it is for me. I need to work out my thoughts and feelings. As I work my way through those, I hope to develop my blogging here into lots of lovely recipes, quick progress updates, top tips, and general loveliness – and much shorter, and less selfish in the writing. But this is doing me so much good. Finally getting my thoughts out of my head and onto the page. Finally getting started, at last!

Berry Nice

This morning I started the day with my hot-water-and-lemon and multivitamin, but decided to mix things up a little bit with my wheatgrass. Rather than just stirring it into orange juice, I decided to add it to a smoothie, which I have christened Berry Nice Put 2 cups of cold water into your blender (I use a Vitamix) and throw in a peeled banana, 2 big handfuls of frozen blackberries, a small handful of cashew nuts, and a pinch of cinnamon. Finish with a slice of peeled ginger, about the size of a 50p coin, and 2 teaspoons of wheatgrass powder, and blend. This was the most beautiful deep purple colour, and I really liked the flavour. I can't help but think that perhaps I needed to blend it a little bit more, as the seed fragments from the blackberries kept catching on my tongue which wasn't the nicest sensation in the world. However, after a glass of that (the smoothie serves 2) and 2 scrambled eggs on toast, I found myself full right up until lunch time. I need to work on not letting myself get too hungry. I had a KitKat on the way home because I could have almost bitten the person next to me! If I had had a banana or similar in my handbag I could have had that instead. Tomorrow I must remember to pack one! Tomorrow I think I will try carrot, apple and wheatgrass juice. I really like making a conscious effort to start the day with something healthy.

Hard To Beet!

In a perfect world, I would have arrived at work today with a packed lunch – but as I did not, rather than just grab anything for lunch, I resolved to find something tasty and healthy. I was in Boots and spotted Jamie Oliver’s new range of sandwiches and salads, and was drawn to Hard to Beet – ‘Beautiful beet salad with roast butternut, feta, and a balsamic dressing’. For me that struck a happy medium – the best option, a pre-planned home-made lunch wasn’t available, so I looked for the second best option. The salad delivered 383 calories, 22g of sugar (25% - how?!), 21g of fat (30%) and I recognised all the ingredients – roast butternut, roast beetroot, bulgar wheat dressed in olive oil, salt and pepper, balsamic dressing, feta cheese, spinach, red chard and rocket, and roasted pumpkin seeds, roasted sunflower seeds, roasted fennel seeds, linseed and parsley. The thing I am really pleased about is that I have always thought I HATED beetroot – and they worked really, really well in this salad. I will definitely be trying them again! Also, I have always shied away from red chard, but I really liked that too. A good lesson in portion control – it was enough to feel like I had eaten something but not so much I felt stuffed. The small amount of really sharp feta worked too.